Meet Susanna Peace Lovell, who is an Advocate for Disability Families, Speaker, Autism Expert, Author, Certified Professional Life Coach, and Reiki Practitioner. Susanna lives in Los Angeles, CA with her daughter Arizona, who inspired her book Your True Self Is Enough: Lessons Learned on My Journey Parenting a Child with Autism. This episode is filled with wisdom from Susanna’s life as a parent and her discovered passion as an advocate and healer in the world. Listen to this episode to get inspiration for how to get through a difficult time and turn it into the stuff of dreams. She encourages listeners to ask for what you need, because the universe does provide what we need when we clearly vocalize it.
Here are three reasons why you should listen to this episode:
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Hear from Susanna about how Reiki impacted her healing journey.
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Learn about Susanna’s approach to finding joy among the hardships of life.
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Discover how you can awaken to your life amid trauma and life not going as planned.
Resources
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Listen to previous episodes of Returning Home:
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Episode 7 | Saying No to Parenthood: Reasons Behind Being Childless by Choice
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Sign up for Elise’s Newsletter and receive a FREE PDF to start your self-compassion journey!
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Connect with Elise on Instagram: @elisekindya
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Susanna Peace Lovell’s Website: www.susannapeacelovell.com
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Connect with Susanna on Instagram: @mamapeace
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Purchase her book on Amazon here: Your True Self Is Enough
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Transcript
This editable transcript was computer generated and might contain errors. People can also change the text after it was created.
Elise Kindya: Thank you so much for being here Susanna for everyone listening. I have a special guest today Susanna peace Lovell and she is an author. She is a mother she is all kinds of amazing things very interested in hearing about the role of Reiki in your journey for sure. That’s something that my audience is very interested in but I think everything about what you’ve been through is very much applicable to a lot of the people that listen to my podcast. So I’m really excited to have you on here. So yeah without further ado. How are you today, Susanna?
Susanna Peace Lovell: Hi, thank you for having me. I really appreciate this platform and how am I doing now in this very moment? I’m actually doing okay. I have my little treat next to me, which is my unsweetened black iced tea, that’s fun for me.
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Susanna Peace Lovell: And I was just traveling yesterday. So I feel much, pretty rested today and happy to take So I was in Ohio.
Elise Kindya: where are you traveling?
Susanna Peace Lovell: My family’s in Ohio. I live in Los Angeles California with my daughter and…
Elise Kindya: right
Susanna Peace Lovell: the majority of my family is not here. So my parents are in my brothers in Ohio. I have siblings in Minnesota and Massachusetts. So it’s always everywhere,…
Elise Kindya: everywhere
Susanna Peace Lovell: but that means we typically need to get on a plane which is okay, but I wish that they were just around the corner.
Elise Kindya: Yeah. That makes sense.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yeah. Yeah.
Elise Kindya: A lot of people, my family is the same way where it’s just throw some spaghetti out a map and it’s like there’s probably somebody that I know that lives there. Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: I know that’s just how it turned out. So.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, you’re originally from Ohio. What brought you to Los Angeles? They’re not originally from Ohio.
Susanna Peace Lovell: To me right to make it even more complicated and fun. I was actually born here. I was born in Santa Monica,… So in the 1960s, they both met at UCLA. My dad was a PhD student and my mother was an undergrad and so that began their love story. They’ve been married for 53 years now and…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Susanna Peace Lovell: they moved to Ohio, probably 12 or 13 years ago now. My mother is a professor. My father had just retired. And so she Moved over to University in Ohio and my brother just ended up going to residency there after med school and set up shop there. So yeah, I am a California girl in that I was born here and I was raised here and in Orange County and then I went to school up north. Northern California and eventually found my way back down here to La so yeah,…
Elise Kindya: Yeah,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: just all over the place.
Elise Kindya: and those are two very interesting places for me when it comes to Reiki as well so I live in Richmond,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: mmm
Elise Kindya: Virginia, but I was working with a therapist who is based out of Michigan and then we did a retreat in Hocking Hills, Ohio. Have you ever been there?
Susanna Peace Lovell: No. No, never even heard of it.
Elise Kindya: My It is and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: No, I
Elise Kindya: because I’m from New Jersey, I’m like Ohio what are you talking? It’s like an armpit, But when my therapist Chelsea was like no, we’re going to Ohio. I was like, I trust you with my life. Let’s go and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: yeah, yeah. Yes. mmm
Elise Kindya: it was gorgeous. There’s all these caves and waterfalls and mushroom hunting so Reiki by waterfall was very not there. Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Wow, okay. I will look at it. Do you know what part of Ohio Hocking Hills is?
Elise Kindya: I know I drove through West Virginia for a while. I would have to look at a map.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Okay.
Elise Kindya: I don’t know.
Susanna Peace Lovell: I’m okay.
Elise Kindya: I know it’s six hours from where she’s from in Michigan and it was six hours for me to get there from Richmond. so Mm-
Susanna Peace Lovell: So she drove Got it. Awesome.
Susanna Peace Lovell:
Elise Kindya: Yeah. Yeah,…
Elise Kindya: highly recommend. So yeah, the next family reunion you have out there. They have beautiful cabins and all kinds of stuff. Yeah, yeah…
Susanna Peace Lovell: Love it. Yeah.
Elise Kindya: because we can find spirit and all of these things anywhere we go. I mean even in the middle of a congested City no matter where we go. We can find our own connection to Source, but it is nice when you can be surrounded by beautiful nature and do that.
00:05:00
Susanna Peace Lovell: I agree with you completely for sure.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, yeah. Susanna, you wrote a book Your true self is enough. And I love that title so much and I just want to talk with you more about how you came up with this book title and just the concept of the book. I mean, I’ll let you describe it. But yeah for anyone listening that has not read your book. But what could they expect if they wanted to pick it up?
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yeah, so at this book and all sort of go back to the beginning was birthed in my heart probably 10 years ago. So I am for a little background in context. I am a mother I have a daughter who is now 18 years old. She is a legal adult as she likes to remind me her name is Arizona.
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Susanna Peace Lovell: And so before she was born I was confident about becoming a mother it’s something that I always dreamed about when I was a young girl like, I might be a pediatrician or a bus driver or attorney or whatever it is, but I know for sure I will also be a mother so I just had this, sort of this wish and desire and intention, but also really just this knowing That I was going to be a mother and didn’t know if I was going to adopt some kiddos. I didn’t know if I was gonna have five kiddos. I didn’t know really all of the details, but I wanted a lot of kids and so, I ended up getting married three months later. I was pregnant and I just felt like,
Susanna Peace Lovell: my plan is working because …
Elise Kindya: Yeah, everything’s working out.
Susanna Peace Lovell: right because I’m Right,…
Elise Kindya: Exactly as I planned it. right
Susanna Peace Lovell: right because I’m in control right because I have the power. so, with the birth of Arizona brought a lot of unexpected things and one of them was, some medical issues that came about in the form of crazy food allergies. She still has
Elise Kindya: You have reading that part of the book was difficult. I was like, wow, that must have been so frustrating for just talk about feeling out of control and…
Susanna Peace Lovell:
Elise Kindya: Power what do you do? Sorry to interrupt you. But I just remember that part of the book.
Susanna Peace Lovell: no, no, no. it’s
Elise Kindya: I was like, my goodness. That’s hard. That’s so hard.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: It’s what though, I totally appreciate that because sometimes I’m 18 years into this journey now, right? And so sometimes I forget to acknowledge just the journey in terms of the challenge the joy, the Surplus the abundance the feeling less than I mean, feeling like a failure all of the above and I often times.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Forget to just sort of be present with all of those feelings because I think that they’re so valid to acknowledge even now certainly we are still on sort of an unexpected life Journey because it’s so hard when you are in relationship with another being that you have responsibility for and they’re their own individual.
00:10:00
Susanna Peace Lovell: You know what I mean? They have their own little spirit and soul and ideas and wishes and intentions that I was hoping before I became a mom that I would just have this perfect little mini me that I would just be able to understand and bond with and connect with and that has not been the case.
Elise Kindya: Sure.
Susanna Peace Lovell: So all I’m saying as I appreciate that because it reminds me to not sort of brush everything under the rug. And just acknowledge and be so grateful. For where we are right now, and from once we have come, so. it was an arduous time. I think that what was really challenging is that in addition to the food allergies, we started noticing some developmental things and that sort of started this trajectory into Myriad appointments with developmental pediatricians and therapists and Specialists and turns out that there were a lot of diagnoses associated with her particular. Being and so those diagnoses in addition to the crazy allergies which then turned into asthma included initially auditory processing atypical disorder eventually autism spectrum disorder, which I think is what most people, have a reference for in terms of conditions and developmental. A situations then also ADHD, she was ultimately diagnosed with and anxiety and so interestingly enough as I was sort of treating my own anxiety. Which was brought on by,…
Elise Kindya: All right.
Susanna Peace Lovell: all of these unexpected things now that are part of my motherhood experience. I was laying on the acupuncture table and I believe Arizona was five or six at the time and I was just sobbing weeping, just feeling so depleted and unfit to be Arizona’s mother.
Elise Kindya: right
Susanna Peace Lovell: Because I didn’t know what I was walking into. I had no idea what was happening. and so I was laying there and I had this Epiphany which was wow, I’m like carting, Arizona around to So many therapies every week three to four to five seven eight therapies a week and everyone is sort of working with her based on these diagnoses, So, autism spectrum disorder, the behaviors are coming up like this and so it was almost like, they were treating her for these, various diagnoses and I just remember thinking but what? a might be for the letter A might be for. Asman, allergies and autism and ADHD and anxiety but really is for Arizona and So speaking about the title of my book it was originally going to be is for Arizona, but as my daughter grew up, she was like, I just don’t really want you to talk about me so much.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Susanna Peace Lovell: And so our compromise is that I can still talk about Arizona as my daughter but just in the book she is just listed as the letter A,…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Susanna Peace Lovell: that’s what I call her in the book and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: also compromise was So then you get to write the forward Arizona and you get to tell people what you want them to know the readers of this book and one of the things that she said in the forward was your true self is enough.
Susanna Peace Lovell: and so that is now the title so All of that to say when I was going through this I felt very isolated.
Elise Kindya: So the active writing made you reflect and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: I felt very alone. I felt very disconnected even from myself and…
Elise Kindya: and realized what those truths were.
Susanna Peace Lovell: my source and my connection to everything spiritual just kind of flew out the window…
00:15:00
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: because I felt like I was just, thrown into a lion’s den. I can’t really explain it other than I just was trying to survive and so as Arizona got older I was like, what I just want to be able to tell the story about, the lessons I’m learning along this journey of raising this child and so I wrote it starting off as you…
Elise Kindya: right
Susanna Peace Lovell: strictly memoir And I was just like dumping everything into it,…
Elise Kindya: What kind of vision did you have for it…
Susanna Peace Lovell: the first iteration of my book was 350 Pages dear readers just so you…
Elise Kindya: imagining yourself back then in the trenches and you had this resource of this other mother and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: it’s now about a hundred and…
Elise Kindya: their story about raising their child.
Susanna Peace Lovell: eight pages because I …
Elise Kindya: What do you think that would have done for you at the time?
Susanna Peace Lovell: I know my audience number one and number two. I wanted to honor my daughter who at again now as an 18 year old and certainly over the last couple of years as I have been, gearing more toward the publishing date. She has been like, I just not really comfortable with certain things that you’re talking about in this book, even though the story is my story so I had to honor that and so I whittled down that and so now it’s still Memoir it’s lots of anecdotes of motherhood and my journey with being her mother and I’ve also included at the end of each chapter a truth corner. So just kind of like little hints and tips and lessons and truths that I have learned along the way that I wish.
Susanna Peace Lovell: I had known then but I was trying to survive really so it was very challenging for me to be present. So yes.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yeah, it was very very very therapeutic journey.
Elise Kindya: right
Susanna Peace Lovell: I love writing to me is always been such a release and… and a great sort of spiritual experience for me my whole life But I had never written for an audience before other than just,…
Elise Kindya: right
Susanna Peace Lovell: little articles here and there I had a Blog way back when yeah, so that’s why this book was birthed. It’s something that I wish that I had had when I was sort of in the trenches in the early days. Yeah. I know for sure that it would have felt very cherishing. I think it would have felt very nurturing. I have always craved, the warm and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: fuzzies from people I just want to feel like everything’s gonna be okay. I just want Is very mom. And so I couldn’t find that. I didn’t …
Elise Kindya: community
Susanna Peace Lovell: I was sort of the first of my girlfriends to have kids. I just didn’t know any other families really.
Elise Kindya: Has this book help you find that or other kind of Stepping Stones along the way does it feel like there is more,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: I definitely didn’t know any families who had children with any sort of diagnosis,…
Elise Kindya: conversation about these types of things out in the open. Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: And so I felt very alone and isolated and this is back in the day when really the internet is not like it is today where you can just find anything you need to find in two seconds seriously, but back then there weren’t websites there wasn’t Facebook. There wasn’t anything social media. There was an email list that I found that was for Los Angeles mommies. but even that was not so helpful…
Elise Kindya: Yeah, right.
Elise Kindya: right
Susanna Peace Lovell: because I didn’t even know what was going on in my life. I didn’t even know what to type in, just was feeling very again very alone very much like a loan.
Elise Kindya: right
Susanna Peace Lovell: Soldier So I think that if I had this resource even just the way that I wrote it is just the way that I am, it’s exactly who I am all the words. that you read that’s…
00:20:00
Elise Kindya: Yeah, and your book is and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: how I talk.
Elise Kindya: you as a person and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: That’s how I feel and…
Elise Kindya: and this book that you’ve added to the you…
Susanna Peace Lovell: I would have felt like wow I am.
Elise Kindya: what would you call that the Canon of books,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: I am supported because someone else has been through this before and…
Elise Kindya: but yeah, you’ve added your piece to that and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: it might not look exactly, like my situation…
Elise Kindya: so You’re contributing to the community,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: but I would have at least felt like ah,…
Elise Kindya: So that’s really cool. Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: There’s some sort of Beacon of light here. there is light at the end of the tunnel somehow somewhere. So that was the feeling that I was looking for and I still am to this day, as this journey continues. I’m constantly looking for, minded. Immunity. Yeah for sure. I think so too. Yes, I do for sure. I have definitely been seeking the connection and the community and the creation of tribe and…
Elise Kindya: Okay.
Susanna Peace Lovell: a different kind of life than I had a regionally envisioned for myself. So I feel like even that energy and intention of seeking out something is calling in what I need what I’m seeking, right? So as we know with Reiki so my favorite,…
Elise Kindya: right
Susanna Peace Lovell: so I just feel like I think when I understood that well I guess I couldn’t say when I was starting to understand…
Elise Kindya: So yeah,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: what it is that I needed …
Elise Kindya: the book is kind of like a culmination of all of that work.
Susanna Peace Lovell: what my unmet needs were…
Elise Kindya: It’s the handbook of What you’re already doing all the time.
Susanna Peace Lovell: then I could start saying those things out loud. I can start naming them like, my gosh,…
Elise Kindya: It’s like just read the book and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: I really wish that I could find,…
Elise Kindya: then we can start working together kind of thing.
Susanna Peace Lovell: a connection Circle or support group. That doesn’t feel like gloom and doom. I wanted something to be additive, because I knew that I could also enhance the experiences. Of others around me too.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: I bring that to the table just because of who I am and so I was looking for that and seeking that out and we’ve come a long way and I feel much more in community. today
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: yeah, yes, and I’m so happy to
Susanna Peace Lovell: yes. Yes.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, I love that. and I know we’ve kind of talked a little bit about Reiki, but I want to talk more about how that has been part of one of the tools in your toolbox, maybe it is like the path that when you talk about your version of God, but yeah, how has that practice? benefited you as a mother as a person as a coach all these things. Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yes.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yes. Yes.
Elise Kindya: right
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean again this little heart project of mine has taken 10 years.
00:25:00
Elise Kindya: definitely
Susanna Peace Lovell: I mean I started writing it when Arizona was about seven and again, I didn’t know sort of how it would turn out, but I just knew that I just wanted to be able to share my story in some way she perform in the meantime.
Elise Kindya: right
Susanna Peace Lovell: I’ve shared my story in so many different ways other than the book so, because it’s my lived experience as you mentioned and so as an advocate for disability families and a coach and a consultant and a speaker and a workshop Creator and all kinds of fun things. it’s just part of who I am. As I am, working with other families and…
Elise Kindya: Wow
Susanna Peace Lovell: some always sharing little tidbits and situations with people around my own experiences. So
Susanna Peace Lovell: yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: No, it’s so interesting. I have had some clients who I’m not really sure what I need. I just feel like I need support but I’m not sure exactly what I need yet and it is an offering. I also have an online course for Empowering Families, for creating a thriving life. So whatever I can do to be a little I don’t know drop of Hope in anybody’s life. I’ve been like my whole life. I’ve always just wanted to be of service in some way. I’ve always just had this very strong connection to my God, and source and I just feel so LED through this life by something that is so much greater than me. and so it has always been so
Susanna Peace Lovell: Obvious to me and very apparent to me from an early age. I am here to then, spread whatever it is that I’m just a conduit, to be able to give back.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Susanna Peace Lovell: in some tiny little way
Elise Kindya: right
Elise Kindya: right
Susanna Peace Lovell: certainly it has been one of the most transformational.
Elise Kindya: right
Susanna Peace Lovell: Happenings in my life in terms of even understanding, being able to name this Universal Life Energy, I didn’t know so much about Reiki,…
Elise Kindya: Yeah, you taught her about it. wow..
Susanna Peace Lovell: but I feel like even before I was introduced to Reiki, right? I was like, this is Now everything is just making sense. you mean I was raised in a very sort of more churchy home.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: So I grew up in the church Born Again Christianity Church kind of thing and I always felt like a different kind of relationship with my God. That’s why I called my God, right my God, there was the god that was mad at me or it was jealous and all of these things and…
Elise Kindya: right
Susanna Peace Lovell: then there was, sin and evil and all of these other things and rules and regulations and I just found Throughout that whole experience that I just was connected to this benevolent source of yumminess.
Elise Kindya: Yeah, so it feels and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: And so …
Elise Kindya: love how you said that it’s already within you.
Susanna Peace Lovell: the Reiki in terms of…
Elise Kindya: It’s something that you can access whenever you want because Needing it for these next five minutes like there you don’t have to
Susanna Peace Lovell: how I actually found Reiki my older sibling probably maybe a little over 10 years.
00:30:00
Elise Kindya: Schedule like your confessional at the church.
Susanna Peace Lovell: It probably definitely over 10 years ago had started dabbling in Reiki and…
Elise Kindya: I don’t really know how that works. But I was raised in the church,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: And they have always been very connected to you…
Elise Kindya: too, but I wasn’t paying attention. I have no idea…
Susanna Peace Lovell: just nature and Earth and…
Elise Kindya: what you’re talking about anyways.
Susanna Peace Lovell: energy and so many things and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: so I just noticed so many positive happenings and…
Elise Kindya: But yeah,…
Elise Kindya: you don’t have to get in your car and go drive down to the church and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: changes in their life.
Elise Kindya: go tell some stranger in a box all your deepest darkest Secrets.
Susanna Peace Lovell: And so I was just starting to figure out my life as an adult.
Elise Kindya: It’s so much of a different experience than that and it’s actually kind of what you were saying earlier about this wanting to be this Light Of Hope in the world and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: Or I was a mother and I just felt this calling of yeah,…
Elise Kindya: that’s really what it provides is.
Susanna Peace Lovell: I’m so interested in this Reiki thing that seems to have been so,…
Elise Kindya: You have a lot of power as an individual person and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: beautiful for you and…
Elise Kindya: when we all can kind of come together and offer this even collectively like that’s really cool.
Susanna Peace Lovell: so I was introduced to master Reiki practitioner Beth…
Elise Kindya: But yeah, coming in touch with your own power that you have in each given moment.
Susanna Peace Lovell: who I then just basically was like, what sign me up I would like to do some sessions with you and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: it was just like mind blowing like it was just there was nothing magical about there is nothing crazy.
Elise Kindya: So yeah those times when you’re really needing it in the next five minutes.
Elise Kindya: How does it make you feel…
Susanna Peace Lovell: It wasn’t like,…
Elise Kindya: then to tap into Reiki?
Susanna Peace Lovell: a trillion epiphanies or…
Susanna Peace Lovell: aha’s happening. That wasn’t how Reiki showed up for me…
Elise Kindya: When you’ve gone from I don’t know…
Elise Kindya: if you would call that a panic state or…
Susanna Peace Lovell: how it showed up for me was just this almost instant realization that I am connected to this energy.
Elise Kindya: just really overwhelmed to then. Breaky. How does that affect you?
Susanna Peace Lovell: That is within me It’s like I already have everything that I need right I have everything everything is already within me. Some things are not totally activated. Some things are just but I just felt like I don’t need anything in the outside realm…
Elise Kindya: I know.
Susanna Peace Lovell: because everything is already here and…
Elise Kindya: definitely
Susanna Peace Lovell: it just was like this very comforting just exhale of I can access this at any second of the day, I don’t have to seek out, something that might make me feel good like,…
Elise Kindya: Yeah. Yes.
Susanna Peace Lovell: exercising or whatever right? It’s just something that in this breath. I can access this very supportive tool for myself. And so I really was so interested in just using it for my own anxiety and depression and worries and I had very little,…
Elise Kindya: I think anyone on planet Earth in 2024 can relate to that,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: intention to become a practitioner.
Elise Kindya: But yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: But that just sort of organically happened. I just wanted this little fun little treat all to myself and…
Elise Kindya: It is information overload like what you were saying about the internet, how used to be. You just have to really work hard to find information today.
Susanna Peace Lovell: it for sure became a very big part of my toolbox,…
Elise Kindya: My husband was Googling.
Susanna Peace Lovell: especially as I became a mother and…
Elise Kindya: He went to Google on his phone and Google some kind of bug because he saw this bug in our yard,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: so I love that. I already had the experience,…
Elise Kindya: then he accidentally opened tiktok somehow and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: before I became a mother and…
Elise Kindya: the bug that he had been Googling was the first thing on tiktok.
Susanna Peace Lovell: then certainly raising my daughter. And teaching her about it too.
Elise Kindya: I was like,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: So Mm-hmm.
Elise Kindya: he was very shook by that and I also was and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yeah. No, she doesn’t herself.
Susanna Peace Lovell: She just Mommy. I don’t think Reiki is real.
Elise Kindya: yeah, they make it really easy…
Elise Kindya: because they’re literally in your phone looking at…
Susanna Peace Lovell: Can you please do Reiki on me?
Elise Kindya: what your Googling so
Susanna Peace Lovell: I’m like, okay sure.
Elise Kindya: But yeah, yeah, right.
Susanna Peace Lovell: You know what? I mean your journey,…
Elise Kindya: It’s like you want to find information.
Susanna Peace Lovell: So yeah,…
Elise Kindya: I mean, we don’t know if this is good information, but here’s a hundred bot,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: I’m so grateful for all the support.
Elise Kindya: AI written articles on the topic,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: I mean, I need it.
Elise Kindya: so Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: So badly. I need everything so badly all the time.
Elise Kindya: And that’s been something interesting in my line of work.
Susanna Peace Lovell: It’s so every day brings something different every day is different every moment can require a different connection to something or…
Elise Kindya: I don’t know about for you.
Elise Kindya: But yeah, like AI therapy and things like that. I don’t know if that’s something that’s come up at all in your professional world but
Susanna Peace Lovell: different support or something and it’s just like I need to have, 78 different things That I can call in right now to help me get through this next five minutes sometimes.
Elise Kindya: That’s good. Yeah, it’s very interesting. Yeah. Yeah, I know you’ve talked a lot too about Joy.
Elise Kindya: And your Mantra is find your joy. is it What do you by that? How do you access your joy?
Susanna Peace Lovell: Right meaning either actually.
Elise Kindya:
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yeah.
Elise Kindya:
Elise Kindya: Yeah, yeah.
00:35:00
Susanna Peace Lovell: It is an instant exhale for me instantaneous. And it’s so crazy talking about panic and worry. It’s like I know what to do and still I’m often find myself in a state of panic and worry panic and worry panic and worry, what I mean anxiety and it’s just like even with all the tools right? So I just love the opportunities every day to be able to lean into this beautiful offering that is available to all of us, right. So I feel so grateful even in my hot messiest moments
Susanna Peace Lovell: Which by the way there are there are many,…
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Susanna Peace Lovell: many. You mentioned being feeling overwhelmed and feeling yes, that is me often.
Elise Kindya: Yeah. Yes.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: I mean seriously, that’s right.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: and listening to what you’re saying, all of the above.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: right right right
Elise Kindya: right
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: mmm
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: it has not. Yes, let’s we’ll see. Mm-hmm.
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: Okay.
Elise Kindya: Yes.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yes. I love being reminded that. I teach what I most need to learn so that’s…
Elise Kindya: So giving yourself permission…
Susanna Peace Lovell: what I’m thinking right now in this moment. I was like, yeah,…
Elise Kindya: what I’m hearing you say is giving yourself permission to let the definition of what’s going to give me joy that can even change from day to day or…
Susanna Peace Lovell: how do I do that? Because I wasn’t able to do that this morning. So Susanna, let’s see, Finding. My joy is also just again it’s kind again.
Elise Kindya: moment to moment and then honoring whatever that is that’s coming up finding a way to honor that desire or…
Susanna Peace Lovell: Everything is so. Intertwined and integrated and…
Elise Kindya: That inspiration that’s kind of coming up for you in the moment. Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: related so, just in the moments where this morning I was driving and I was just having a little bit of a sadness because I just got back from Ohio and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: I was with my parents who are getting older.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Susanna Peace Lovell: And they’re healthy and they’re getting older. I mean,…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: we’re human beings we are mortal. So at some point, we’re gonna have to say goodbye to people that we know. I mean, it’s just happening all the time already. so I was in my car just having a moment and I was like, I really want this sort of merch nurturing sort of nourishing cherishing hug, from the universe and so you just ask for that. everything’s gonna be okay Susanna, and I know that for me in terms of accessing Joy that’s a little example of a tiny little spark of joy, I felt like I wasn’t trying to move through the feeling I was trying to honor the feeling of being sad and missing my parents, but I was also
00:40:00
Elise Kindya: right So it’s like whatever you decide to look for. You’re going to find it. So sure, of course the doctors are giving you these diagnoses in this news and what do I do about that? And it’s not like you were looking for that. but if we let that just be all that’s in our face and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: Aware that I just didn’t want it to go into this funk that would…
Elise Kindya: all the only things that we’re consuming then of course that’s going to feel.
Susanna Peace Lovell: then affect my function for the day,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: right? Because I think there’s a difference there.
Elise Kindya: So yucky,…
Elise Kindya: it’s gonna feel so.
Susanna Peace Lovell: So I was letting it flow.
Elise Kindya: I know you use the word powerless just feeling out of control and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: I was letting the feelings come and …
Elise Kindya: that doesn’t feel good.
Susanna Peace Lovell: I often have this feeling throughout my day of …
Elise Kindya: But then if we can even decide I like to tell my clients that life is half positive and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: okay, what can bring me joy today,…
Elise Kindya: half negative. So yeah,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: what can bring me joy, how can I find joy in the next moment,…
Elise Kindya: all of it is there but you can shift your focus to …
Susanna Peace Lovell: today my conversation with you Elise.
Elise Kindya: which is the thing you’re gonna focus on right now and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: I was like, I was over the…
Elise Kindya: like you said earlier about letting yourself feel the sadness not rushing through it not.
Susanna Peace Lovell: since we scheduled our time together. I’ve been looking at all of your work and I was like, it’s gonna be such a supportive delicious.
Elise Kindya: What’s the solution but also yeah, you don’t want it to become the full.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Conversation with somebody I don’t know…
Elise Kindya: You don’t want that to be a hundred percent of your day.
Susanna Peace Lovell: but I know …
Elise Kindya: But let’s go ahead and feel that when it’s here and then
Susanna Peace Lovell: what I mean, you’re on the other side of the country, right? You’re three hours ahead of me.
Susanna Peace Lovell: and so I just felt like that. it can’t not be life giving so for me. That is joyful. I am enjoy right now. I got Having this conversation with you and I am going to have joy later on seeing some friends whose daughter is turning 13 today. So we’re all gonna celebrate together in a very easy Relaxing way that feels. What else is going to feel? Joyful is that I haven’t scheduled my day tomorrow back It’s a weekend. That doesn’t mean I need to check off to do list of okay, you need to exercise. to go to the farmer’s market. Don’t forget to write all of these things. I don’t have to do anything. In fact.
Susanna Peace Lovell: some days taking a walk taking a hike feels like Joy other days sitting down. For more than five minutes is what Joy feels like for me in the moment. Writing in my journal feels very joyful most of the time, so I just have to ask myself throughout each day. what does Joy look like for me today or within this next hour or within the next and can I tap into something? Like I was saying I have my black iced tea here with me. that is my little joyful treat. It’s really hot outside. So that feels yummy to me. yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yes. Yes, yeah, yes, right and I think that a lot of people use the term maybe self-care I think for me self-care is never this same list of things to me it’s more of this real Soul Care feeding my soul what is going to be additive and enhancing to my being right now or for this season or over the weekend or as summer is coming to an end and we’re gonna start another school year, what my needs are gonna be different because I mean,…
Elise Kindya: what part of La do you live in?
Susanna Peace Lovell: my nervous system is often in sort of a sympathetic State and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: so I am trying to even those things out but Yeah, it’s just also too. I think just Consciousness around. I want to experience Joy. I want to be happy. I know that when Arizona was diagnosed With so many different things and it was very challenging in the very beginning.
Elise Kindya: Like ivy league preschool. Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Just in terms of her behavior and her medical episodes with allergies. it’s so challenging for me to find anything other than just misery, and so, it really was like falling onto my knees and just like please I want to have a beautiful life. I want to experience beautiful things. I want to be here.
00:45:00
Elise Kindya:
Susanna Peace Lovell: In this life present with my daughter and these experiences.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yeah. Yes.
Elise Kindya: right
Elise Kindya: It keeps you safe. That’s okay.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yes. Yes.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yes, yes.
Elise Kindya: Good job.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Honor Yes honor it.
Elise Kindya: Yeah. …
Susanna Peace Lovell: It’s here it is it is…
Elise Kindya: what we were saying about Reiki earlier,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: what is right,…
Elise Kindya: if all of that we need is within us that’s true of everybody.
Susanna Peace Lovell: but I love the word yucky. I think that should be a medical term seriously like…
Elise Kindya: including Arizona And including every single person that’s been born.
Susanna Peace Lovell: because it is It for sure because sometimes that’s like I will literally have conversations with you…
Elise Kindya: They have what they need. It’s just They need the right kind of environment to kind of bring that out.
Susanna Peace Lovell: therapist or medical professional and they’re like, how do you feel yuck?
Elise Kindya: And so it sounds like she has the good environment to be her true and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: I don’t know. I feel funky, The ick the bull.
Elise Kindya: authentic self. Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yeah, right.
Elise Kindya: Right. Hello.
Susanna Peace Lovell: mmm
Susanna Peace Lovell: So many things I think.
Elise Kindya: I’m childless by choice because I’m like,…
Elise Kindya: I cannot do that.
Susanna Peace Lovell: I have to just be so grateful…
Susanna Peace Lovell: because I feel like…
Elise Kindya: I would be in jail.
Susanna Peace Lovell: if I was not given the child that I have right if Arizona had not chosen me to come through me as her mother, I feel like I would have not had.
Elise Kindya: yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: so many millions of opportunities to actually awaken to this life and…
Elise Kindya: I have a whole podcast episode on it…
Susanna Peace Lovell: I mean that purely and…
Elise Kindya: because yes, it’s very much like I mean sure I’m a woman I’m 38 at this point.
Susanna Peace Lovell: literally I honestly feel like I would be kind of like Tiger mom numbed out to life and…
Elise Kindya: So I mean, everybody can do what they want, but That is not on the agenda. And I do know that about myself and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: just sort of going with the flow of…
Elise Kindya: but I hear this a lot in my work too about trauma.
Susanna Peace Lovell: what everyone else thinks is important around me,…
Elise Kindya: It’s not exactly the same as…
Susanna Peace Lovell: …
Elise Kindya: what you’ve been through but People being grateful for the thing that they’ve been through that…
Susanna Peace Lovell: this is what we do and this is where we go. And I live in Los Angeles as I mentioned and one of the things that I’m in West la la and…
Elise Kindya: then teaches them that I love how you said that earlier about how it awakened you it made you wake up in this life.
Susanna Peace Lovell: I’m close to the beach,…
Elise Kindya: Maybe TMI.
Susanna Peace Lovell: but I feel like most people think of beachy towns is chill,…
Elise Kindya: I don’t know my sister committed suicide in 2007 and that was something for me. That was like yeah,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: cool surfy type.
Elise Kindya: my eyes are all the way open now.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Okay? Yes and…
Elise Kindya: And then it took me some time.
Susanna Peace Lovell: in Los Angeles and especially as you become a parent,…
Elise Kindya: I struggled with drinking and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: it’s like already there are so many expectations.
Elise Kindya: in that time if you knew me in 2008,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: There’s so much like external pressure.
Elise Kindya: I was a complete in utter just right off the deep end…
Susanna Peace Lovell: Where is she gonna go to preschool, Yeah, I really preschool.
Elise Kindya: but I got sober four and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: So I feel like…
Elise Kindya: a half years ago and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: because I’ve had a different trajectory in motherhood.
Elise Kindya: that then was a whole other Awakening process for me. But no I mean,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: I Have not.
Elise Kindya: it’s a different thing and I totally understand…
Susanna Peace Lovell: I haven’t been able to be sort of sucked into that world of comparing and…
Elise Kindya: what you’re saying as far as it’s not the way that I would have written. if I had the chance, I mean and maybe we do I don’t know…
Susanna Peace Lovell: you…
Elise Kindya: but Consciously my ego would not have written that down,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: sort of again having the external things. create worthiness for us or…
Elise Kindya: but my soul did for whatever reason.
Susanna Peace Lovell: for our children.
Elise Kindya: And yeah,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: Now that being said I have to work so hard always on just looking at my child as a perfectly intact individual soul,…
Elise Kindya: I’m grateful for I went to a support group kind of what you were saying about wanting to find other people that have been through the same thing as you I went to a support group. and I was like, yeah, I’m never doing that again…
Susanna Peace Lovell: whole complete perfect…
Elise Kindya: because the people were just there their sibling had been dead for years and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: because I still have go. I have a big ego,…
Elise Kindya: years and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: …
Elise Kindya: years and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: so even…
Elise Kindya: they’re just telling the story of how
Susanna Peace Lovell: though All right,…
Elise Kindya: You…
Susanna Peace Lovell: right, but even…
Elise Kindya: how it happened and I’m like this happened in…
Susanna Peace Lovell: though and…
Elise Kindya: what year like,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: even though you…
Elise Kindya: what are you talking about?
Susanna Peace Lovell: I have this daughter who’s 18 and…
Elise Kindya: Isn’t this supposed to be for healing? do you feel better?
Susanna Peace Lovell: I’m like, where is she going to college …
Elise Kindya: What is going on? So I just was like,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: and she’s still in high school.
Elise Kindya: can’t do that.
Susanna Peace Lovell: She has two more years left.
Susanna Peace Lovell: And so we don’t know we have a different sort of path.
00:50:00
Elise Kindya: …
Elise Kindya: but just I’m like,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: I’m not really sure.
Elise Kindya: I’m understanding what you’re saying. And I hope that our listeners are getting it too…
Susanna Peace Lovell: It’s hard to not you…
Elise Kindya: because sometimes yeah,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: sort of take things personally like I could have done a better job and…
Elise Kindya: There is kind of what you were saying about your parents too.
Susanna Peace Lovell: on the flip side.
Elise Kindya: We’re in these human flesh suits there’s no getting out of this life.
Susanna Peace Lovell: She has a 3.9, and then how can I not like, right right.
Elise Kindya: so you got to learn your lesson and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: How can I not also be joyful about that,…
Elise Kindya: you have to be open to all the experiences you’re having as you’re gonna meet yourself in that experience.
Susanna Peace Lovell: but let her be who she’s meant to be and guide her and try to help, support her. As much as possible to be, just her most authentic self, right?
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yes. Yes.
Elise Kindya: Yeah. Yeah.
Elise Kindya: Sure.
Susanna Peace Lovell: That’s right.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yeah, and by the way, that was not something that was available to me when I was young, so I feel like that in and…
Elise Kindya: Yeah, yeah,…
Susanna Peace Lovell: it.
Elise Kindya: and …
Susanna Peace Lovell: So again I feel like she has been the biggest blessing in my life in terms of and…
Elise Kindya: we’re here so we might as well as we can rise to the occasion and just like to meet it head on you…
Susanna Peace Lovell: by the way, I think parenting is horrific it’s so hard and…
Elise Kindya: and just ride the wave. Surfing speaking of being at the beach.
Susanna Peace Lovell: challenging it kicks my ass literally all day long every day.
Elise Kindya: Yeah. Yeah, what would be like just a…
Susanna Peace Lovell: Listen, Elise. Let me tell you something.
Elise Kindya: if there’s anything that we haven’t covered today that you really would want someone listening to this episode to know or…
Susanna Peace Lovell: No, and I’m surprised that I’m not okay.
Elise Kindya: to hear from you. what would be something that?
Susanna Peace Lovell: But I…
Elise Kindya: You just need your burning to tell.
Susanna Peace Lovell: but I’m telling you that’s such a beautiful don’t you feel so grateful for that knowing Right…
Elise Kindya: the listeners
Susanna Peace Lovell: because how many people you just don’t know yet, Yeah, and yeah, yeah, we could I’m sure.
Elise Kindya: Mmm Yeah
Susanna Peace Lovell:
Susanna Peace Lovell: Mm- fancy that yeah
Elise Kindya: right
Susanna Peace Lovell:
Elise Kindya: always fun.
Elise Kindya: of course not
Elise Kindya: right I love that so I was okay. Just speaking of traveling in June. I went on a retreat to the Bahamas and we swam with wild dolphins and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yeah, yes. Yes like it.
Elise Kindya: it was so amazing And I flew spirit because I was like, I’m just gonna give it a whirl. See what happens. I’m literally obsessed and they were sign up for the credit card you get 60,000 points…
Susanna Peace Lovell: I love that.
Elise Kindya: if you spend at that whatever and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: I love that human flesh suits exactly
Elise Kindya: if you have the credit card and all the different things you can upgrade to First Class. The seats are huge and it doesn’t really cost that much more and so because I was on the same kind of thing…
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yeah. Yeah,…
Elise Kindya: where I was like,
Susanna Peace Lovell: also too you mentioned,…
Elise Kindya: I want to treat myself to something like that.
Susanna Peace Lovell: …
Elise Kindya: But I mean on Delta or…
Susanna Peace Lovell: maybe trauma is not the right word.
Elise Kindya: something. I mean, I can’t even imagine…
Susanna Peace Lovell: But I would like to say that I do feel that I have absolutely by definition experienced.
Elise Kindya: but okay, I’ll do a little Spirit Airline first class seat where nothing is included but I don’t care I bring my own food and drinks anyway, I don’t want the cookies and…
00:55:00
Susanna Peace Lovell: I experience PTSD from this experience of raising this daughter of mine and…
Elise Kindya: who cares so
Elise Kindya: But no, I love that. I love ask for it because Who knows you might just get it?
Susanna Peace Lovell: not because of her…
Elise Kindya: Why not ask?
Susanna Peace Lovell: but because of my response and reaction and my own unmet needs, right and my little girls unmet needs…
Elise Kindya: right Right.
Susanna Peace Lovell: but I yeah,…
Elise Kindya: And then maybe part of that work is doing some of that root work to that’s been such a big game changer for me.
Susanna Peace Lovell: it’s man life is tricky.
Elise Kindya: I mean Reiki just like my life was like this and now it’s like this, but when I…
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yeah. Yeah.
Elise Kindya: how to do a lot more of that Work on my own route. And feeling more worthy and…
Susanna Peace Lovell: Right, right, right exactly. my gosh. Yes.
Elise Kindya: being like yeah, I can ask for that whereas before I don’t have the audacity to do that. But I have the audacity and I will be asking you. So I love that reminder. Thank you so much for that.
Elise Kindya: And Susanna, so I know I have some of your links that I’ll put in our show notes, but was there anything that you wanted to like a direction? You would want to point the listeners in to learn more about you or how to connect with you or work with you or how to read your book?
Elise Kindya: Yeah.
Elise Kindya: Okay.
Elise Kindya: Wow.
Elise Kindya: mmm
Elise Kindya: And your last name is Love?
Elise Kindya: Listen love over here.
Susanna Peace Lovell: I would just say that,…
Elise Kindya: I love That amazing.
Susanna Peace Lovell: you…
Elise Kindya: Thank you so much for being here on this episode.
Susanna Peace Lovell: we are supported in this life again as human beings living on this Earth.
Elise Kindya: And I know that everyone’s gonna just learn so much and just soak it all in.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Sometimes surviving is a feat in an of itself.
Elise Kindya: Thank you so much for being here and we will look forward to hearing you on the next one, hopefully. Yeah.
Susanna Peace Lovell: We are supported support is available to us.
Elise Kindya: Of course. alright I’m gonna stop recording.
Susanna Peace Lovell: We need to maybe still listen to some loud music whatever it is and just sort of tap into what is it that my soul and my heart is craving. what are my innermost desires, really and to be able to sort of name those things and speak them out can be very activating and I know that sometimes we’re like, no, there’s no way that that can happen.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Me like that’s for someone else who think about how you want to feel in this life the values that you want to have in your life the connections all of that everything is available. We just need to ask for it and I try to practice that all the time what’s my Wildest Dream,
Susanna Peace Lovell: The other day yesterday when we were flying home from Ohio and I was in the middle seat because my daughter doesn’t always find but Mike because my daughter doesn’t want to sit next to strangers. So she either needs to be in the window or that fine. So I’m in the middle seat and I was just like can I please just from now on always why first class is that? Because then I’ll be so rested and feel so supported all so much energy to give everybody else right? I’m just thinking of these tiny little things like Why not, so someday
Susanna Peace Lovell: I would like to hear about that. Yes.
Susanna Peace Lovell:
01:00:00
Susanna Peace Lovell: Right, right. right
Susanna Peace Lovell: Why not? No, seriously, I think we’re so afraid because maybe we think it’s too much or yeah, we’re not worthy or
Susanna Peace Lovell: yes.
Susanna Peace Lovell: mmm
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yeah, who am I right? right
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yes, yes. Thank you.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yeah, everything is really on my website. So that’s my first middle and lastname.com Susanna peace lovell.com and then on Instagram at Mama peace and AMA peace. I think it’s so beautiful that my parents actually gave me the middle name piece when I was born in 1974 because I feel like that’s what I’ve needed the most in my life. And so I feel like I have instant access to peace because I have peace within me. It It’s available. I know I know. Yeah, yeah exactly exactly.
Susanna Peace Lovell: Yes.
Susanna Peace Lovell: mmm
Susanna Peace Lovell: Thank you Elise.
