Author: Elise Kindya

  • The Black Sheep

    The Black Sheep

    They just don’t really understand you.

    You’re feeling like the black sheep once again.

    Your face flushed with pulsating heat, your palms slick with sweat, all the eyes in the room burning straight through you.

    Mortified, you long to fall into a black hole and disappear into the void.

    Speaking up in front of other people just isn’t your “thing.” Why isn’t it easier just to talk to people?

    Some call it being “the black sheep”- not fitting in anywhere, feeling like the odd one out.

    And that starts to feel lonely after a while.

    Not like the others…

    Everything about you is… different. From head to toe and back again. You march to the beat of your own drummer most of the time.

    Parties, family reunions, even at work – there you are. Alone. On your own. It’s easier that way.

    Wading through countless memories – making jokes that repeatedly fall flat, overhearing disparaging comments about your clothes or interests, even your loved ones thoughtlessly devaluing your very identity.

    Why bother? You don’t seem to fit in quite right – anywhere.

    Explaining yourself – again – has taken its toll.

    All the pressure – all the fear – all the frustration – any thoughtful communication is difficult, if not downright impossible.

    Someone reaches out to you – a second of glimmering possibility. Yet you find yourself quick to react, rather than present enough to pause and ask yourself how you want to show up at this moment.

    The words sometimes pour out in a chaotic rush – embarrassed again!

    All your effort, and yet… so very awkward.

    You wonder if anyone will ever be able to accept you – simply for who you are.

    But the situation’s not hopeless. And you’re not hopeless; far from it.

    You’re Worthy.

    The world needs your unique way of being. Your voice, your perspective, your approach to life are all necessary – and meaningful.

    It’s time you take up the space you deserve.

    It’s ok to put yourself first and safe to believe in yourself.

    Don’t deny yourself – like so many others have.

    Developing self-love is a process.

    Learning to love your quirks and your uniqueness isn’t an overnight phenomenon – it takes dedication, commitment, and consistency.

    It also takes being seen, honored, validated, and valued for who you truly are.

    Confidence and self-appreciation are the keys to your success.

    The feeling of being the black sheep can actually lead you to beautiful places.

    Commit yourself to honoring the individuality you possess.

    Are you going to be scared? Yes.

    Are you willing to do it anyway? I hope so.

    Working with me, you will receive my undivided attention.

    I’ll listen to you and truly hear what you have to say.

    I’ll help you see your superpowers for what they are – unique gifts to improve your life.

    Say YES to yourself. Say YES to this moment. Say YES to the power within.

    Schedule a free discovery call with me today to see if we’re a good fit.

  • Anxiety as Empowerment

    Anxiety as Empowerment

    Worrying is more than a passing feeling.

    You can’t even remember the last time you didn’t worry about something.

    You often find yourself with sweaty palms, tired, and spilling coffee everywhere from your jittery hands.

    Your mind is continually racing, trying to predict the future.

    If you look up “overthinking” in the dictionary, your picture looks back at you (messy bun and all).

    Anxiety is practically your middle name.

    Does any of this sound familiar?

    These feelings are not unique to you.

    The fact is that many people struggle with anxiety. You are not alone!

    Anxiety is a common part of life in our modern world.

    Like many people, you might be constantly striving, thinking about the future, and trying to plan your next moves.

    The function of this is perpetual planning, trying to predict all the potential outcomes for you to feel like you have control over what will happen.

    The fact is that individuals control very little outside of ourselves. And trying to have control sparks more anxiety.

    It’s a vicious cycle.

    One way I like to view anxiety is as an emotion that allows you to deal with stressful situations by pointing you in the direction of where to take action.

    In this way, your anxiety is like a roadmap to freedom.

    But it doesn’t feel this way. It’s stressful!

    If your anxiety seems more persistent, you can learn how to turn your anxiety into a way to empower yourself.

    What? Use anxiety to empower myself? Yup!

    It requires learning to recognize triggers and signals.

    You can start to see these sensations and racing thoughts that usually signal your anxiety as a clue to do some more in-depth inner work.

    Anxiety is showing up because there is a deeper calling that you are not answering.

    There is something more to life that you need help in excavating, uncovering, exploring, and putting into motion.

    And I can teach you how to do this.

    Therapy with me can help you get closer to your true calling and put steps in place to walk in that direction.

    Let’s replace worrying with empowerment.

    If this sounds like work you are ready to do, please reach out to me by clicking here to schedule your free discovery call with me.

  • Learning to Trust Yourself

    Learning to Trust Yourself

    What is “intuition?”

    There is a wise, calm, and connected “you” buried under all the social conditioning.

    We do need to balance living in the world as our personality with quieting down and listening to a deeper, wise voice that lives within.

    Working with your intuition has to do with trusting yourself. Communicating with your intuition can be considered a spiritual practice.

    Not tuning into your intuition is a common problem.

    How many times have you had a gut feeling to do or say something and not followed through?

    It doesn’t feel good afterward, does it?

    And when you don’t listen, you lose trust with yourself.

    You probably hear “intuition” getting talked about on Instagram. Influencers make pretty posts about this topic, and even your friends have started sharing these posts with their stories.

    These posts often include pictures of crystals, the chakra system, or an ethereal woman peacefully meditating surrounded by a blanket of mist.

    It all looks so easy. Sure, it sounds and looks good, but what does it mean?

    It’s about learning how to listen and trust yourself truly.

    In our modern society of smartphones, Alexa, and instant gratification, we do not lack for distractions.

    Plus, there are people in our lives who have other ideas of how to show up – or not show up.

    There will always be an outside opinion if you let it in.

    Listening to your intuition and following through on your gut feeling, despite the symphony of outside opinions, is the hallmark of learning to trust yourself.

    You’ve got to listen intently. Get quiet. Go within.

    It takes practice, patience, and persistence.

    You can look back on your life and see how much repetition it has taken in not following your gut feelings, which has led you to stop trusting yourself. Those are learned behaviors.

    You probably had many examples of role models doing just that- not following their own gut feelings. This is bigger than you.

    You will need patience to unelarn these patterns, and relearn new and helpful behaviors that actually serve you and allow you to trust yourself again.

    Having a goal in mind will help you on this path.

    Learn to ask the right questions as you listen to that inner voice.

    What’s beneath all of this?

    What comes up when I quiet down?

    When I listen to my inner knowing, what appears?

    What is my true north?

    Am I committed to following my unique path?

    When I quiet the outside noise, is my mind peaceful? Or is it scattered, jumbled, and confusing?

    Getting clear on this will help you know what work is yours to do.

    Without that inner voice, you lose your relationship with yourself.

    With our modern, fast-paced, and noisy world, it’s easy to shut out your inner voice. However, this shutting out of your inner knowing is damaging your relationship with yourself.

    When you don’t listen, it’s like having a flakey friend.

    You know that friend you always make plans with, but who cancels at the last minute. Sometimes you wonder about giving up on that friendship because the disappointment and rejection are too much to bear.

    It gets old when you receive that text that says, “Nvmd, I’m gonna stay in! Can’t wait to hang next time.” It brings out your best eye roll.

    You sigh in exasperation, throw your hands up in the air, and think, “I don’t know how much more of this I can take!”

    Without intuition, you lose trust in yourself.

    When you don’t listen to your intuition, it’s like breaking that type of trust with yourself.

    Except for this time, you’re the flakey friend sending that “Nvmd!” text. And your intuition might be rolling its eyes at you!

    You know you want better for yourself. The good news is that this relationship is always here when you are ready to nurture it.

    It’s never too late to strengthen this part of yourself.

    The potential of the relationship you can have with yourself is the most expansive, trusting, loving, unique, and beautiful relationship possible. But it can’t happen when you don’t follow the inner wisdom that you already possess.

    It all starts with learning to trust yourself and listen to your intuition.

    These thoughts, nudges, ideas, and messages are coming through for a reason.

    But they can’t be realized until you answer the call.

    In our work together, we begin by noticing layers of conditioning built up for a lifetime.

    Acknowledgment is a critical part of this process. Noticing what you would like to change makes room for you to expand.

    Then comes deciding to take the first step toward your true north. It can be a small step.

    When you take those small actions, each step is one closer to your ultimate truth.

    It won’t be a one and done thing. Finding your true north takes consistency, gentleness, patience, and trial and error.

    The journey is the destination.

    Allowing yourself to take steps on this journey, knowing that you will continue to evolve into your true self, is what growth is!

    We never really arrive.

    We just keep showing up.

    It might be uncomfortable. You might have to set firm boundaries with other people.

    This can be challenging. But pleasing other people cannot come at the expense of having peace in your own heart.

    Over time, you will fall in love with the process. Waking up and getting to be you will be a blast!

    Making choices that serve your highest good and the highest good of all involved becomes second nature when you see the results.

    You can learn to listen and gain trust.

    Learning to trust yourself and listening to your intuition might require you to ask for help.

    You can pull tarot or oracle cards, listen to guided meditations, read a book by a spiritual teacher, get into nature, or try to meditate on you own.

    Perhaps you need more guidance, support, suggestions, accountability, and someone to hold a safe space for you.

    I love working with people who want to raise their consciousness, live meaningfully, and with deep purpose. Listening to people like you learn to trust yourself lights me up.

    Because I believe that when every person is going after their dreams and living their best life, then the world will be safer, more welcoming, and more joyful for all.

    Don’t take the journey alone.

    With me as your therapist walking with you down this path, you can be sure that I will bring all my clinical skills into the relationship.

    You will receive space to process and explore what triggers you and what distresses you about this journey.

    I will make suggestions, give you spiritual homework, and help you guide yourself to a more exciting and expansive life.

    Are you willing to take the plunge?

    If so, I am ready to help you walk the path that leads to both a better relationship with yourself and increased trust in your inner voice.

    Schedule your free discovery call with me today.