Author: Elise Kindya

Holy smokes! It’s been almost two months since I last logged on here to post. 😱

So much has happened in this time.

I have decided to participate in a coaching program that is helping me think through some new offerings I would like to create for new clients.

🙈 While it’s been fun, it’s also scary.

Change at any level and in any area is scary.

We are creatures of habit and we want things to stay the same, to live in our comfort zones.

And yet, as humans, we strive for self-actualization. We strive for growth.

But, in reality, our comfort zones will kill us.

They kill the fun.

They kill the excitement. They kill the joy and the forward momentum.

🦄 This is why I have decided to bust through my comfort zone, break out of my rut, and have some fun while doing it.

I also need to be gentle with myself, because this is scary stuff!

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

💪 I am choosing me, my life, my expansion and my joy while also being afraid.

I know that on the other side of this, is an offering that will also help new clients who come my way. And that is very important to me.

You see, my mission in life is to raise the consciousness of the planet. I want to do this by facilitating spaces where people feel safe enough to turn toward the parts of themselves that they (used to) think were unloveable, wrong, dirty, and shameful.

The truth is, we are all more alike than different. We all have things we would like to stay hidden.

But, it is in being seen, heard and validated for who we truly are that our lives can actually take off and become the imperfect perfection that we are meant for.

How Deep Is Your Love?

Sure, it’s the title of songs by The Bee Gee’s and Calvin Harris, but I’m honestly asking you this question.

How deep is your (self) love? Do you think that self love is helpful or hurtful?

It depends who you ask.

According to world renowned psychologist and the developer of this approach, Carl Rogers, unconditional positive regard is fundamental to healthy human development. It is imperative for people to feel safe in order to encourage ourselves to push past our comfort zones and grow. This is a need that develops before birth, in the womb, and continues into infancy childhood and even carries into adulthood.

Further, the work of Dr. Kristin Neff and Dr. Christopher Germer in the realm of self-compassion further expands on the need for love, care and understanding from within.

Human beings are part of a collective group and belonging is akin to our very survival.

Is your inner critic loud?

Many people experience difficulty when first approaching the work of self-love and self compassion.

Perhaps you did not receive the understanding you needed as a young person.

Do you remember hearing the words “Suck it up,” “Get over it,” “You’re so weird,” or other similar mocking statements directed toward you?

Maybe you identify as “The Black Sheep”, never fitting in anywhere quite right.

If so, try to offer yourself understanding in this moment. Reach the olive branch of peace to yourself, in your mind and heart.

You are allowed to belong, if even just in your own life. Make space for your unique self to thrive and shine.

Just because it feels weird, doesn’t mean you don’t need it.

No matter who you are, you deserve understanding.

If it feels foreign to offer yourself unconditional positive regard, compassion, or love, then this is a clue into an area you actually need a heavy focus and intentional offering of these exact qualities in your life.

Think about caring for anything- a plant, a child, a pet, a significant other, a retirement account, preparing a meal. Does it do better with attention, or neglect? You are the exact same and deserve the same amount of care and attention.

My challenge to you

See if you can offer yourself a kind word once a day for 7 days. Use a journal to record how you feel before offering yourself kindness, and after. Then compare your writings from the beginning of the week to the end of the week. See what changes you can notice, whether they are subtle or obvious.

Have you ever hit a wall with your:

• -workout routine
• -spiritual rituals
• -foods you eat
• -and others?

Me too!

Recently, I found myself in a rut when it comes to moving my body, feeding myself nutritious foods, and even my spiritual practices.

I have come out of the other side and wanted to share some things you could try if you are struggling in this way, too.

Things To Try When You Are Feeling Uninspired

1. First, just allow yourself to be in this rut. It won’t last forever, and the harder you are on yourself, the worse it will feel. Try to ride it out before problem solving.     
2. Ask Tik Tok
   • Really! I have been wanting to try some new foods, so I went to Tik Tok and searched hashtags I wanted to learn more about. I am personally interested in adding more smoothies to my diet, but you could search for anything! Once you figure out what you are wanting to find, type the terms into the “search” box. You’ll be amazed at how many videos with step by step guides come up.
3. Tell a friend
   • Support from loved ones is so important when we’re in a funk. Reaching out and telling someone who we know cares about us will help us to feel like we’re not alone. They might also come up with some ingenius ideas for you to try.
4. Show yourself some compassion
   • Reminding yourself that all people struggle from time to time can do so much for your mental health. No one is in this alone. Check out Insight Timer for some great meditations on self care and self compassion, like this one.
5. Take on small step toward your goals
   • Even doing something like visualizing yourself completing the task that has been on your list can help nudge you toward achieving it. Do one little thing to bring you closer. For instance, if moving your body is something that has felt very uninspiring, close your eyes and see yourself moving in a way that is fun. Then, take a small step toward that goal, like putting your running shoes on. See if you then feel like going for a walk. If not, no pressure. Try again tomorrow.

I hope these ideas sparked some hope for you to be able to take an uninspiring moment in time and help yourself through it.