Blood + Guts + Star Stuff: Making Sense of Being Human

Welcome back to Returning Home, the podcast. My name is Elise Kindya and I’m your host. And today I want to talk about a topic that comes up a lot in my work in the therapy room as well as just in my own brain. And that is how it’s so difficult to have a human brain that is living inside of an animal body and what we can do about that, how to be okay with life when you know that there’s more to life or you have these thoughts that bring you to the edge. It almost feels like the edges of the earth, the edges of the universe, or even down into more basic issues that are here on planet Earth. But they seem so obvious, and yet people have such a hard time getting what you’re saying.

(03:31)
And yeah, this happens to me a lot because I like to think things all the way to the end, all the way through what could be the solution to this problem. And then I look around at the world around me and I’m like, I don’t think other people get it. I don’t think that they’re seeing what I’m seeing or feeling what I’m feeling. And I guess one piece of that is when I just said that what came to mind was that concept of common humanity, that the practice of self-compassion has us think about that a lot of times that the experience we’re having is something that other people also seem to be having.

(04:22)
But a lot of times, in my experience, not everybody is thinking about it as deeply maybe, or feels as deeply about it as maybe I do. And I see that with my clients a lot too. They feel that they’re really sensitive, they feel things deeply. They’ve thought about the issue or topic that they’re coming to therapy about pretty deeply. And it seems like the other people in their lives don’t get it. And yeah, it can be really frustrating. It can feel really lonesome. It can feel like you’re the black sheep just sticking out like a sore thumb among all of the other people in your life and that you care about things differently than they do, or you care about different things. But I think that there is this thread of common humanity, even if the people that directly in your life aren’t getting it, there are definitely people out there that do get it.

(05:30)
And this is what’s so interesting about living at this time, because we have the internet, we have podcasts, we have social media, we have lots of ways that we can connect to other people in other countries on the other side of the world that maybe are thinking about things differently than just the people in our immediate circle. And this is what I mean when it’s like, oh, we have this human computer in our brain, but we have these very 3D animal bodies that are dense and they have to occupy the space and time that they’re in. You can’t just you in Harry Potter app operate to someplace that somebody maybe that you have more in common with is that you can go be with them. But we are fortunate in this time that we have ways to connect the internet chat rooms like Instagram, TikTok, and other ways that we find to do that.

(06:35)
Being in community in our yoga studios or our meditation classes or our churches, if you’re into that or places we gather in real life to be around people that are maybe more like-minded to us. Yeah. But this concept kind of was coming to me because I’m taking a writing class right now, a creative writing class where I have an idea for a novel that I want to write, which feels very big, overwhelming, daunting, all those things. I just finished the six week writing course, which I didn’t really focus on the novel so much a little bit. And I definitely got some good feedback and things to think about. But a lot of it was actually, if you’re from Richmond, and I don’t know how big of a thing this is nationwide or internationally, I have no idea, but there was a program here in Richmond called Life in 10 Minutes where you’re given these prompts or things to topics to write on or prompts to get you going with your writing for 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, and then you read what you wrote out loud.

(07:58)
When she told us that in the first class, I was like, oh, what? But it became easier after doing it even just once. But I was writing something in that class. And this, again, I’m thinking and talking about these things daily with my clients, but I have to metabolize it for myself, which I think writing is such a great way to take what’s in that human computer in your mind and that space that occupies around your mind, all those thoughts, wherever they’re swirling around, it’s a way to really ground down and channel that in 3D. When you can take those concepts and ideas and they travel through your arm and through your hand and through the pen and onto the paper is a really powerful thing. Or maybe they go through your fingers onto the keyboard, onto the blank screen on your computer, however you do that expression, and really in any art form as a way to take whatever is kind of ethereal or in the ether and bring it down into the 3D, which is a gift that we have as humans being able to conceive of these things.

(09:13)
Even this computer I’m talking at or the headphones I’m wearing, or the box of tissues or the cup or the phone, the notepad and the pen and the paper and the light and the light switch and electricity and the running water in the building I’m in, and the heat coming on. All of that isn’t possible without the human brain. So that’s a pretty cool thing that we can take what is just a concept or an idea and find ways to bring it down into the 3D, make something out of it and get feedback about it too, which can be really scary. And one of the things I always say is why I could never have gone to art school because I don’t want to hear what people have to say about my art or I, it would’ve been really difficult for me to be critiqued in public like that. But yeah, we need that right, to be able to get better and to be able to refine, to be able to improve upon that idea.

(10:23)
But yeah, I had written this phrase of blood and guts and star stuff. That’s what humans are made of and how that can just be so, such a conundrum, such a oxymoron or just opposite ends of the spectrum, something so basic. And again, 3D grounded as blood and our guts and what’s inside of this meat suit that we have to carry around with us to the opposite end of being able to conceptualize anything. If you go, I mean, blockbuster’s not a thing anymore, but going into a library, going into a video store, going into any store, or just walking down the street and seeing all the concepts that people have come up with those storylines, the places that art can take us, the places that the human mind can take us is frankly just wild. It can be so overwhelming.

(11:40)
And then to have to ground that down into our bodies and reconcile with that in our feeling state is, I’m sure as you’re listening to that, you’re like, yeah, wow, that difficult, I just hear this so much in my office of whether it’s somebody that’s gone through a traumatic thing or someone is in my office saying, logically I understand this or that about this situation, but in my body I feel something else. And how difficult that is for people to not be able to think their way out of their trauma, their emotional reactions, their bodies normal and natural response to thinking that something is very wrong. Your body isn’t wrong, but your mind also isn’t necessarily wrong. I mean, sure don’t believe everything you think. And again, when you look at art that isn’t necessarily truth or real, it’s like someone’s idea, but why isn’t it real? It’s something somebody conceived of or thought about, but the body, I was going to say, the body doesn’t lie. And it doesn’t lie, but our minds can work against our body to make things mean a certain thing that they don’t actually mean.

(13:19)
We feel a certain thing in our body, and then our mind jumps to, oh, this must be happening when that’s not necessarily the case. So yeah, it’s so frustrating to have to be blood and guts and star stuff inside of this meat suit with this computer in our mind with we’re so many things as people, we’re so many different parts. And is that a good thing? Is that a bad thing? I don’t know. I don’t know that we have to judge it. I mean, it just is, you are here living this life. If you’re listening to this podcast, you’re a human, if you’re making sense of what I’m saying, if you understand the words I’m saying, this is just what it is. So I like to say that to clients too, where they’re like, well, I don’t want to be judgmental, but this is bad. Or, well, I think this is bad, but I don’t want to be judgmental. I want to think it’s good. Well, if you’re saying it’s good, you’re still making a judgment. You’re not saying anything neutral. Judgmental has gotten such a bad rap. But anyway, we are going to do that as people. That’s part of how we are composed, part of how we’re made up, how we see the world. We have to make judgements whether we’re judging something as good or bad.

(14:42)
But yeah, this is just what it is. You are a person, and I dunno if you can relate to this or not. Let me know if you can, because sometimes, again, with this common humanity thing, I’ll say things like that. And then people are like, well, yeah, duh. And I’m like, oh, okay. Well, I guess what I’m thinking is really out there, but then I think some other people do get what I’m saying or can relate to what I’m saying. So that’s why I’m putting this out here right now. But yeah, it’s having to show up every day and do the human things when you just want to astral project or app operate somewhere. I remember this one time, and this was in high school when I was probably smoking a lot of weed, but I remember saying something to my dad, we were walking on the boardwalk in Long Branch, New Jersey, and I said something where I was like, I don’t get why as people, why has there had to be this evolution of these ideas?

(15:58)
If people are people, whether they were born a thousand years ago or today, why didn’t they just know that they needed to drive cars and make cars happen? And he was like, what kind of question is that? But it’s like we were always, I wonder if we were always capable of that in our past, and we just needed each person that was an inventor to invent the next thing that got improved upon and improved upon over generations and over years. And now technology just comes out so fast. I have this iPhone that if this had been my first phone in high school, I would’ve been like, whoa, this is a little computer in my pocket. And now it’s very outdated. It’s probably like an iPhone XR or something. And what are they up to now? Like 15?

(16:57)
Yeah, but I don’t know. This is going somewhere, the human ability of humans to continuously come out with new things. But were these concepts that humans of many generations ago could have thought of, what is human capacity and capability if we have all of this now, was it not possible before or did we need all the trials and tribulations and the trial and error of the hundreds of years in between? And I don’t know that I’m definitely not going to answer that question right now, but it’s just a question that comes up for me sometimes. And in my novel that I want to write is about healing trauma, because I feel like we keep taking one step forward, two steps back right now with this war going on in Gaza and Palestine and is Israel and everything, why we all just sit there? Why is that happening and resources and money and power and all of that stuff. And unhealed trauma is why that’s happening to me in my opinion.

(18:19)
And I just want to live at a time when everybody has to heal at the same time. There’s no option. And what could be possible if everybody was equal and if everybody had healed their trauma and if everybody was operating at a healthy, emotionally mature, social emotional learning was happening for children and adults that didn’t get it, what could actually be possible for everybody if that was the world we were living in? Because yeah, every single person I think has the capacity and capability to, I mean, we could always be doing more, but what would life be like if everybody had the chance and the opportunity to actually live their potential? That’s a world that I’m interested in seeing. And maybe as my teenage self that like to smoke weeded in high school, maybe that’s what I was asking my dad about all those years ago.

(19:35)
Why weren’t people able to do all that stuff back then? And maybe it was, yeah, because of resources and blah, blah, blah, but because they didn’t have the capacity yet to maybe know about that, but also there was so much other, just being able to survive and feed yourself and all of that, taking care of those survival basic needs, overtook and currently overtakes people’s ability to dream and to think bigger and to create and invent and solve problems. And how then do we, if that were possible for people, then how would that look as far as being a human in this human body, but with this computer that is running or supposedly running the show in our head, although the body talks up to the brain 80% of the time, we stay grounded a lot, but the mind does tend to take over, doesn’t it?

(20:49)
And if we had the freedom to do that, what could be possible? So those are just some things I’m thinking about and wanted to put it out there in this more long form just kind of, I mean, I want this to be a conversation. If you have something to add to this, I would love for you to leave me a review with a question or you could email me or you could find me on Instagram and start this conversation with me there. But I just find this to be fascinating and interesting. But yeah, that’s just kind of the topic I wanted to talk about today. And hopefully I’ll be coming back on more onto the podcast. I’ve kind of lined up some interviews that I’m going to do soon, and I want to hear from you all what you want to hear from me, because I could mean, as we heard on this one, I could just talk about stuff, but I want to talk about what people want to hear about. Yeah. So let me know whether you find me on Instagram or send me an email, go to my website and all this will be linked down in the show notes. But yeah, hope to continue this conversation with you at another time. And thank you so much for listening today, and I’ll talk to you soon. Bye.